reflections~

Going to things like this does something to me. It’s like it gives me a chance to step outside my usual routine and really think about what it is I am doing and, more importantly, why I am doing it. I enjoy traveling to another city because the unfamiliar environment heightens my awareness of my role as an observer. The ritual behind all that we do as dancers, and humans, is put into the spotlight to be examined. It all fascinates me; warming up, rehearsing before the performance, seeing what people wear to classes, the silencing of voices as the lights in the performance hall dim……..I could continue, but you see what I am getting at.

Not only am I an observer of ACDFA as a whole but also of our own dance program. Since I am not a major or minor I am in this sort of neutral position in the department. I don’t know any of the girls real well but we all get along so I interact with everyone at some point in time. This is good for me because I feel like I am quite different from most of the girls, so I learn so much from each one of them. I have had some really meaningful conversations with people from our school since I have been here and my perspective on things has definitely broadened. This has been a result of great compromise for me because normally when there is an opposing view I like to challenge it, but since I don’t know these people real well I am a little scantier with my words. This is a good thing because I am able to embrace a different type of role here and I like that experience.

There are times, though, that my heart aches. It aches because I see an empty plot where there should be a castle (kinda like Nichols ;), a castle that is surrounded by a moat overflowing with understanding and compromise. This castle is home to a royal court that is willing to stop and ask themselves, “How is my attitude and behavior affecting the people/situation around me, and what can I change about MYSELF to make this a more pleasant experience?” We are all so wrapped up in what is happening with other people, what they are doing wrong, that we don’t realize that we may be destroying the very thing that we want to see grow.